Friday, September 16, 2011

Don't fall into the friend-zone!

If you fall in that zone, it's hard to get out of it, many times even impossible. That's why
you have to avoid falling in the first place, if you want to be more than just a friend for her. It's easy to control, but many men aren't able, because they make the same mistakes over and over again.

Why do many guys fall in this zone?
There are two reasons why men are seen like friends and not like boyfriends or lovers:
    1. They don't touch her or touch too rare
    2. They get into rapport to soon and skip the phase of attraction

It's vital to form the right impression in women's minds from the very beginning, because most
of the times, they remain to their initial opinion, they made about someone. It's very hard to change it and that's why we got to avoid falling in the friend-zone.
If you wake up in that zone, the relationship needs time, in order to change, that means, that
you have to break the contact with her for a while and then try again after months or years.


From the beginning of a meeting between you and her, you have to touch her as much as possible or else the chances to become her boyfriend decrease significantly. If you touch her, don't make a big deal out of it, it should seem natural, like you're the kind of guy, who touches everybody.

If you want to connect with the girl on specific subjects from the very beginning and don't escalate, then I have to announce you, that you're on the wrong way. Trying to build a connection to early and the lack of touches mean for the girl "He's nice. He could be my friend, but not my boyfriend!"

There are 3 phases of touches, that you have to conform to:
    1. the attraction phase - in this phase you must act like a boy in the fourth grade, like I told you in the article "It's time to trigger some attraction - Role-playing and attitudes", you have to adopt that
lighthearted, fun, friendly attitude. The touching in this phase must last 1-3 seconds, because she doesn't know you yet. She must trust you and feel comfortable with you first, in order for you to touch longer and get closer.
You're intention should be to build curiosity, attraction and the places you can touch are the shoulders, the upper-back and the triceps. The message should be: "I touch a lot, but I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to protect you if something happens."

    2. the rapport phase - in this one you must be her friend. You have to build trust and a deep connection between you two. She needs understanding from you, so that she can become comfortable with you. The touching should last 4-7 seconds and the places you can touch are lower-back, forearms and even the knees if you two are sitting.

    3. the seduction phase - you have to be a man in this phase. You must become s$xual and show it trough your body-language. You have to be aggressive and confident. By aggressive I don't mean overly-aggressive or to beat her, I mean, that you should display your s$xual intent and touch her as much as possible, but remember only if you get her approval. You get her approval by seeing a positive body-language, not trough her words.
Move your hands slowly throughout her body. What is also essential in this phase, is that you have to tease her by stopping the touching and this way you create anticipation, intrigue in her mind, because she can't read you and she expects to be touched again.After a short time touch her again and she will get also s$xual.

It's really important to be aggressive, but you have to find a middle way between overly-aggressive and not being at all, because by not touching and not trying to get close to her, it's going to be bad for you.

Do you know why? Because you reach into the friend-zone, where it's hard to get out.

Because you don't want to be in that zone, you have to be able to risk your future relationship as a friend with her and touch her a lot, but you should conform to those phases, I talked to you about.

If she's trying to remove your hand, do it before she reaches to it. If you're doing it correctly, she will show a positive body-language, she will touch back and she will be in a good mood. Take care to touch correctly in each phase and if you see, that you're moving too fast and she isn't ready for a specific phase, then return to the previous stage, until she's ready.

Now go out and try all this techniques and I am sure, that you will see amazing results!